Famous Funny Quotes
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted.
George Best
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.
Oscar Wilde
When some one asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
“Why won’t you people just leave me alone?
A secretary must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a girl and work like a dog.
Anonymous
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Groucho Marx
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Ok, so now you’re like a word genius and everything I say, you twist it around and make me look dumb.
Charlie Day