Famous Funny Sayings

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

I’ve kissed so many women, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman

Live every day like it is your last.Crawl into a corner and cry.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

Life is all about a$$, covering it, kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I have a good, hearty laugh and an energetic handshake, and those are trump cards

There is no “I” in team, but there is a “Me”.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer.

Everything is changing. People are taking comedians seriously and the politicians are a joke.
Will Rogers

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Don’t let yesterday take up to much of today.

Love is like a war:Easy to begin Hard to end!
ancient Proverbs

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates

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